Of all the things that I have ever done, points of view I have voiced, or beliefs I’ve held, none have cost me more in the pursuit of happiness than my political opinions; which is very strange when you consider that almost NO ONE can accurately tell me what they are. Some folks believe that I am so “liberal” that I make Michael Moore look like a right-wing wingnut. Others say I’m so “conservative” that I am personally responsible for the collapse of the economy, the fall of America’s moral superiority, and every war since Korea. When topics that are remotely politicized come up, many of the people I know seem to have no interest in discovery or reasoning. Most appear to latch on to a label, bitch slap it onto my forehead, then start making accusations regarding my intelligence, heart, humanity or parentage.
It’s discussion via bumper sticker.
And I mean that in the old-school, “what a moron” sense of the word. (more…)
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“Okay everyone,” the exasperated instructor repeated for the third time, “the correct response under question 4a is NO and leave question 4b blank,”.
“So that’s a NO under 4b and a YES under 4a?” one of my 20 other classmates asked for the third time.
“No,” the clearly growing more irritated teacher said, “4a is NO and 4b is blank.”
“Oh, I got it,” the earnest fellow replied returning to his application, “4a is blank and 4b is NO.”
I stole a glance at the fellow. His tongue protruded between his teeth, his mustache was pulled taught, and for the first time this evening his eyes were at half mast not because his was falling asleep but in intense concentration.
The instructor sucked in his breath, held it one second, two seconds, then exhaled “One last time, 4a is NO and ….”
“I got it, I got it. No problem.” I watched him mark his paper with the required black ink pen. “It’s cool. I got it.”
Four or five of my classmates stifled groans or rolled their eyes. I’m silently pleading If there is a God in heaven, please, please, please let him fill it out wrong! You see I’m not at the Department of Motor Vehicles or at the Courthouse awaiting jury duty. I’m sitting in a classroom at my local gun dealer getting the certificate I need to obtain my Concealed Weapons License from the State of Florida. (more…)
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