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Archive for March, 2009

“Okay everyone,” the exasperated instructor repeated for the third time, “the correct response under question 4a is NO and leave question 4b blank,”.

“So that’s a NO under 4b and a YES under 4a?” one of my 20 other classmates asked for the third time.

“No,” the clearly growing more irritated teacher said, “4a is NO and 4b is blank.”

“Oh, I got it,” the earnest fellow replied returning to his application, “4a is blank and 4b is NO.”

I stole a glance at the fellow. His tongue protruded between his teeth, his mustache was pulled taught, and for the first time this evening his eyes were at half mast not because his was falling asleep but in intense concentration.

The instructor sucked in his breath, held it one second, two seconds, then exhaled “One last time, 4a is NO and ….”

“I got it, I got it. No problem.” I watched him mark his paper with the required black ink pen. “It’s cool. I got it.”

Four or five of my classmates stifled groans or rolled their eyes. I’m silently pleading If there is a God in heaven, please, please, please let him fill it out wrong! You see I’m not at the Department of Motor Vehicles or at the Courthouse awaiting jury duty. I’m sitting in a classroom at my local gun dealer getting the certificate I need to obtain my Concealed Weapons License from the State of Florida. (more…)

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Two hot guys and me in a (somewhat) compromising photo. Ricky is definitely NOT in the picture!

Two hot guys and me in a (somewhat) compromising photo. Ricky is definitely NOT in the picture!

“Dear Stasha,

It’s been great catching up with you and all and you still seem like a real happy and fun girl but, um, could you do me a favor and remove that comment that references a possible photo of me on the group’s FaceBook page? I realize that you were referring to an insignificant moment that happened when I was in my early twenties but I’m a middle-aged, respectable man now who works in corporate America. I’m afraid it could hurt my reputation and consequently, my career and thereby, my finances, social status, family, retirement planning, kid’s choice of summer camp, etc., etc., etc.,”

Okay, this isn’t exactly what he wrote but it’s definitely the gist of a recent email I received from an old friend – (more…)

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“Do you think I’m a Dom or a Sub?” I ambush my completely unsuspecting husband in the kitchen.

“What?” he replies, eyes glued on the task at hand as he adds a little white wine to the gently simmering pork chops.

“My basic personality. Dominant or submissive?” I persist as I take a piece of broccoli from the steamer and lean against the counter, completely ignoring a sink full of dirty dishes.

 “Is this one of those questions that’s going to bite me in the ass?” he asks. (more…)

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